16 DAYS of Prayer Details

*Check out our 2019 16 Days of Prayer against Domestic a& Family Violence campaign here*

“I want to tell everybody that family violence happens to everybody. No matter how nice your house is, how intelligent you are. It happens to anyone and everyone”. - Rosie Batty


Today is November 25 the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and the first day of Common Grace’s 16 DAYS prayer campaign. Our 16 DAYS prayer campaign is part of a wider international movement – the UN’s 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence campaign. By learning about the issue and praying each day, you are helping to keep domestic and family violence against women and children at the top of the public agenda in Australia and around the globe.



Around one in three women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence – mostly by an intimate partner[1]. Around 38 per cent of all women who are murdered are killed by their partners. The World Health Organisation says that violence against women has reached "a global health problem of epidemic proportions."

Violence against women often goes unreported[2]. In countries where there is extreme poverty as well as cultural obligations to stay with a partner, leaving a relationship may not be an option for many women experiencing abuse. And in many countries violence against women is not against the law, with marital rape still permitted in many countries[3].

Even despite the existence of laws criminalising domestic violence, police and court responses are often inadequate.

“Rosa”, a victim of domestic violence in Timor Leste, travelled more than 100 kms from her remote village for a hearing at a court in the capital city. "My husband was angry and he hit me, then I reported it to police and they sent my report to the court," she said. After waiting several hours outside the courtroom, the judge failed to turn up and Rosa returned home, giving up on any hope of getting help from her country’s legal system[4].

When it comes to prevention strategies, different countries need different approaches. In poorer countries, some development organisations focus on gender equality training and supporting women’s livelihoods as a way of empowering women who may be in abusive relationships[5].


PRAY ABOUT IT

God of the entire universe, all people are made in your image. They are known by you and loved by you. All the resources of the world are yours. God, please bring your boundless resources to help women and children around the world who are experiencing violence of any kind. You know each of them by name. We only hear of them, but you see all.

We pray for governments around the world to rule wisely and to make and enforce laws to protect women and children from violence. Please provide support agencies with the resources they need to provide for the needs of victims.

And please change the culture that permits, ignores, downplays or excuses violence against women and children throughout the world. Please give your grace, comfort and healing to all those who suffer. Amen.


GO DEEPER

• Find out more about global domestic violence statistics here
• International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women
• Check out the UN’s 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence Campaign here

[1] http://www.unwomen.org/en/digital-library/multimedia/2015/11/infographic-violence-against-women
[2] A recent EU study on 28 EU countries found that only 14 per cent of women reported their most serious episode of domestic violence to the police.
[3] Marital rape was only criminalised in all Australian states and territories in 1992.
[4] http://asiafoundation.org/in-asia/2015/07/22/timor-leste-the-economic-dimensions-of-domestic-violence/
[5] http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-11-08/domestic-abuse-in-east-timor/5024198

“All of us would do well to believe women's stories, because for many years, violence against women has been one of Australia's filthy little secrets."  - Former Victorian Police Chief Commissioner Ken Lay.

One woman dies at the hands of a current or former partner almost every week in Australia[1]. One woman is hospitalised every three hours. Access Economics estimates that around 1.6 million Australian women have experienced domestic violence in some form.

And these are just the official numbers. Researchers estimate that less than half of domestic violence is actually reported.

What we do know is that intimate partner violence is the leading contributor to death, disability and illness in Australian women aged 15-44. And we know that women in Australia are three times more likely than men to experience violence at the hands of a current or former partner.

Women can also suffer financially when they try to leave violent relationships. Overall, the cost to the Australian economy of domestic violence is $21.7 billion each year[2] which will only increase without the right preventive action.  When women are unable to participate fully in work, volunteering and caring roles, whole communities feel the loss.


 
PRAY ABOUT IT

God you bring light to the world. We thank you that you can bring understanding, knowledge, and acceptance of the truth. Please may the truth be known in situations of domestic and family violence.

We cry out to you that these horrifying statistics might change. We are mindful that there is so much more needed to be done in education, early intervention, and changes of heart, mind and habit if we are ever to arrest the tide of family violence. We ask that governments in Australia and communities will start to really recognise this tragedy for what it is. Amen.


 
GO DEEPER

• For more insight into statistics around domestic violence go here
• Why do some women stay with their abusive partners? An insightful look at one woman’s experience here
• In a year dominated by headline stories of domestic violence, ABC journalist Sarah Ferguson has spent six months on the frontline of our national crisis.  You can watch her Hitting Home report here
• Read more about some common myths about domestic violence here

[1] http://www.ourwatch.org.au/Understanding-Violence/Facts-and-figures
[2] http://www.thecourier.com.au/story/3510350/domestic-violence-costing-217-billion/

"It is the put-downs, name calling, insults, belittling and critical statements that have the most serious and long-lasting effect on self-esteem as these messages keep repeating in the victim's mind, years after the bruises have healed"  - Associate Professor Dale Bagshaw, University of South Australia

Across all demographics, victims are suffering from physical, psychological, manipulative and controlling behaviour. Many kinds of abuse come from a mindset that blames the victim and tolerates disrespect for those who are of another gender, background, lifestyle or simply powerless.

Domestic or family violence is one of the most common forms of violence against women and their children in Australia.  It can take a number of forms:

• physical - e.g. slapping, hitting, choking, stabbing
• sexual - e.g. rape, harassment, being forced to watch pornography
• emotional or psychological - e.g. isolating the person from friends, family, culture, threats against children, threats to commit suicide or self-harm
• economic - e.g. withholding money, controlling family finances, taking out loans in a partner’s name without consent
• stalking - e.g. repeated following, watching or harassing
• verbal - e.g. name calling, being hyper-critical, threats to physically harm
• cyber/technological - e.g. surveillance, tracking, intimidation, rape threats on social media, revenge porn
• cultural/religious - e.g. using culture or religion as an excuse for violence, preventing someone or forcing someone to participate in cultural or religious customs.

PRAY ABOUT IT

"Be gracious to me, O God, for people trample on me;
all day long foes oppress me; my enemies trample on me all day long, for many fight against me.
O Most High, when I am afraid, I put my trust in you...
You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your record?"   
- Psalm 56:1-3, 8 NRSV

Lord, give us eyes to see and ears to hear the many different ways in which domestic and family violence is carried out against women and children in our communities. Thank you that you see and you hear. Thank you that you keep a record of the tossings and the tears.

Give us understanding and keep us vigilant to recognise those who need assistance, knowing that violence does not always involve physical scarring and bruising. Give counsellors and pastoral care workers understanding and wisdom as they offer support in these painful circumstances. Amen.


GO DEEPER

• Find key statistics, facts and definitions here
• Listen to one couple talking about emotional abuse here
• CHVRCHES lead singer Lauren Mayberry opens up about abusive relationships, and how she got out here. Her beautiful art work is below.

A woman in Australia is more likely to be killed in her own home by her male partner than anywhere else or by anyone else[1]. On average, one woman is killed every week as a result of intimate partner violence.

Currently this year, 64 women, 18 men and 11 children have have had their lives taken by perpetrators of domestic and family violence[2].

Together we mourn this tragic loss.



PRAY ABOUT IT

God, we grieve for those who have had their lives taken by the violent. We grieve for what was taken from them, and for what the world is losing in their deaths.

We especially pray for their families and friends. God, we know you are near to the broken-hearted, and you save the crushed in spirit. May friends and family of these victims know your nearness and your salvation, and find comfort and hope in you.

God of justice, we ask that you will bring justice to victims and perpetrators, to those who have lost and those who have taken. We trust in your perfect justice. Amen.

GO DEEPER

• 'These women are not statistics' – deaths in Australia in 2015
• Leslie Morgan Steiner tells her story of being in relationship with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life in her talk “Why domestic violence victims don’t leave”
• Sign the Common Grace petition #EnoughIsEnough here

Intimate partner sexual violence can take many forms. It may involve a person making threats to a person if they do not agree to a sexual act. It may include forcing them to watch pornography against their will. It can include rape, and it can also include forcing someone to participate in a sexual act they have not consented to, whether or not they have already consented to other sexual acts in the relationship.

A recent study showed that intimate partner sexual violence generally occurs in the context of other forms of violence and is often part of a larger pattern of coercive control in a relationship[1]. Victims of this kind of violence are less likely to seek help than victims of other forms of domestic violence.

The idea that marital sexual assault should remain private has resulted in a lack of public awareness of intimate partner sexual violence. This silence contributes to women feeling that they are the only ones experiencing this type of abuse and to under-reporting these kinds of sexual crimes[2].

“Your husband is the person whom you should be able to turn to for comfort, who should protect you. When it is the person you have entrusted your life to who abuses you, it isn’t just physical or sexual assault, it is a betrayal of the very core of your marriage or your person, your trust. If you’re not safe in your own home, next to your husband, where are you safe?” - “Linda” [3]

PRAY ABOUT IT

God of our bodies, we pray especially today for victims of sexual violence. We grieve with you over the harm done to many. You know every hair on our heads. You formed each of us in our mother’s womb. And you take seriously each wrong done to us.

For those whose trust in partners or family has been betrayed, we ask for your help and we ask for your justice. Please provide people who will listen, understand, and care.

God, pour out your boundless resources of love and compassion on those who have been hurt in this way. Amen.


GO DEEPER

Watch ‘Consent: it’s as simple as tea’ – a brilliant video on consent in sexual relationships

“I want you to consider what twisted sense of entitlement compels a man to grab a woman in a bar or call her a slut. Men, I want you to consider why blokes are so quiet on these issues. Then I need you to correct that silence." - former Victorian Police Commissioner Ken Lay

“The Standard you walk past, is the standard you accept”- Chief of Army Lieutenant General David Morrison

While there is no single cause of violence against women, research and evidence tells us that the key drivers of violence against women are gender inequality, gender stereotyping and a broader culture of violence. Gender inequality is the core of the problem and it is the heart of the solution.

Studies also show Australians are more likely to excuse abusive behaviour than twenty years ago, calling temporary anger and yelling abuse normal while shrugging off the seriousness of someone controlling household finances to punish their partner.

This is why men have a vital role to play in ending violence against women and their children.

There are a number of organisations working to foster and encourage male leadership in this space, and to increase awareness and change attitudes by promoting respectful and non-violent relationships between all people.

But we need more avenues for men to speak out against violence against women, and to safely and effectively challenge the attitudes and behaviours of a minority of men who use or condone violence against women.



PRAY ABOUT IT

Lord, today we thank you for the men and boys who are already drivers of cultural change needed to prevent domestic and family violence in our communities. We ask that you continue to give these peacemakers wisdom, humility and understanding in their roles as leaders, supporters, counsellors and advocates.

We ask, Lord, that you would continue to raise up more men and boys to take a stand against aggressive and disrespectful attitudes and behaviours. We pray that championing the safety of women and children, and embodying gentle, respectful relationships will become a priority for all men, everywhere. Amen.

GO DEEPER

• White Ribbon aims to raise awareness among Australian men and boys about the roles they can play to prevent violence against women. Male supporters can sign the White Ribbon oath here
• Why don’t we speak up when we see domestic violence? Read more here

A number of Men’s Behaviour Change programs for men who use violence and abuse are being run across the country. These programs differ significantly to ‘anger management’ courses as Men’s Behaviour Change programs deal specifically with the issue of domestic violence and invite men to explore their own behaviour and move towards non-violence and safe, respectful relationships. 

One of the key objectives of Men’s Behaviour Change programs is to help participants understand that violence is a choice, and that they are accountable for the choice to be abusive and the harm that results.

Research shows that a third of men who attend these kinds of programs will make significant and long-term changes, a third of men will make some change and a third of men will make no change at all.

Work with men who use violence and abuse can be considered high risk, controversial, and like all family violence work, hopelessly underfunded. However, without these kind of programs, family violence is unlikely to stop and may also be perpetuated into the next generation.

Men’s Behaviour Change programs, like the rest of the frontline support system, is chronically underfunded with men having to wait around three months for an assessment and then six months to attend a voluntary program.  There are also programs for boys who display violent and abusive behaviours, or for prison inmates who are incarcerated for less than six months.


PRAY ABOUT IT

God, we give you thanks that nothing is impossible with you, and that you open the door for repentance and forgiveness in the costly loving death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus.

Today, we lift to you, all those who want to change. We pray for men who have learned to use violence to exert power and control over their partners and children, and who are attempting to change themselves and transform their relationships through Men’s Behaviour Change programs. May your Spirit work within them to bring repentance and healing and a deep and genuine change in the way they treat others.

May they yield to your justice, placing themselves in positions where they can encounter sources of support and accountability as a means of practically working out this repentance and change. We pray for the counsellors and programs which seek to help those men - for strength, wisdom and more resourcing for this important work. 

Amen.

GO DEEPER

Can a violent man change? Watch Call Me Dad - a new documentary that follows a group of men as they undertake a Men's Behaviour Change program.

Read these tips for men in challenging harmful attitudes and behaviours here

 Read about someone who works as a Men’s Behaviour Change program facilitator here

MRS provides anonymous and confidential telephone counselling, information and referrals to men to help them take action to stop using violent and controlling behaviour. Call: 1300 766 491 or visit www.mrs.org.au

‘Aboriginal women are strong. They are survivors who have borne the brunt not only of all policies of colonisation enacted upon our people in this country, but also the ripple effects and trans-generational trauma for several decades. We have done so under extraordinary adversity yet we are still standing and we are still carrying on. And we are still amazing.’ – Celeste Liddel

VIDEO: Watch Archie Roach sing about domestic violence with his song “Walking into Doors”

Australia’s Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women experience disproportionately high levels of family violence. An Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander woman is 45 times more likely to experience domestic violence than a white woman, 34 times more likely to be hospitalised as a result of domestic violence, three times more likely to be a victim of sexual assault. And 70 times more likely to be hospitalised for domestic violence brain injury[1]. Perpetrators of this abuse are both Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander and non-Indigenous people alike.

[1] Reporting on Family Violence in Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander Communities

“I don't feel I'm treated like a human being. I just want to leave this situation and live in peace with my daughter. I don't want her to be exposed to all this humiliation against her mother. [1]"  - “Sarah”

Many women with disabilities are manifestly vulnerable to domestic violence. This is particularly so where their place of residence is in a group home, supported accommodation or institution.  Statistics indicate that 90% of women with intellectual disabilities have been sexually abused during their lives and that 68% of women with an intellectual disability will be subjected to sexual abuse before they reach 18 years of age[2].

Migrant women who are victims of domestic violence are also very isolated due to a lack of cultural awareness, language barriers and community support. Aspects of their migration experience such as the normalization of violence against women in their community of origin, their current isolation in Australia, a lack of or limited English language skills, visa sponsorship and/or spousal sponsorship, refugee status and a fear of being ostracized by their community if they speak out, all contribute to ongoing abuse in the home. 

We know that there is also domestic and family violence in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex (LGBTI) community[3].  While the dynamics of abuse are the same as those present in abusive heterosexual relationships, there are very few frontline services geared towards the specific needs of the LGBTI community.

"For some reason I thought he was safer in an open space with people around and then you realise that you're not safe." - Rosie Batty, Luke's Mother

One in four children and young people in Australia are exposed to violence against their mother, as well as the atmosphere of fear and distress the violence creates. There is growing evidence that children who grow up in environments where violence is being perpetrated against their mothers don’t just witness domestic violence but truly experience it, whether or not they are present during violent incidents. Children can also be harmed when they intervene to protect their mother, and physical and sexual abuse of children is also more common in households where there is already domestic violence[1].

A recent NSW report found that over the last ten years, 238 homicides in NSW occurred in a domestic violence context. Out of that number, 55 were children, with the vast majority of those - 96 per cent - killed by a parent. Half of all child victims were under two years of age[2].

Research indicates that there is an increased risk of mental health issues, behavioural and learning difficulties from childhood exposure to domestic violence. Additionally, children exposed to violence in the home are more likely to commit or experience violence as adults[3].

There are around 44,000 young people who are currently homeless in Australia - 40% of the total homeless population. Domestic violence is the principal cause of homelessness for children and they will often end up with significant issues, such as mental illness, and drug and alcohol abuse, and the life-long consequences of not completing their schooling[4].


PRAY ABOUT IT

God our Father, we cry out to you on behalf of children who witness and experience domestic and family violence. We ask for intervention and safety.

Help us to recognise at risk children in our own communities. Place wise and skilled people in their lives – counsellors, social workers, youth workers, teachers, and pastors – who can provide strength and support through their fear and distress.

God, knowing that these children encounter intense physical and emotional trauma at the hands of ones they love, we ask that you would draw close to and comfort them. Heal their wounds. Free them from fear. Amen.


GO DEEPER

• Watch the Four Corners special on Rosie Batty and the murder of her son, Luke
• 1800 RESPECT - information on children and domestic violence
• Love Bites – a prevention program in schools about teaching and fostering respectful relationships

[1] http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/[email protected]/Lookup/4906.0Chapter3002012
[2] http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2015-03-24/domestic-violence-findings-nsw-police-training/6342152
[3] http://www.aic.gov.au/media_library/publications/tandi_pdf/tandi419.pdf

[4] https://www.missionaustralia.com.au/content/item/597-new-research-provides-insight-and-understanding-into-youth-homelessness

Did you know that one in four young Australian men believe that controlling and violent behaviours are signs of male strength?  New research[1] shows that one in three young men and women believe ‘exerting control over someone is not a form of violence’. Also, more than a quarter of young people consider male verbal harassment and pressuring females for sex to be normal practices.

These attitudes display an urgent need for prevention strategies that help young people to develop healthy, safe, equal and respectful relationships.

The Man Cave - a new preventative mental health and emotional intelligence program for young men – is one of those strategies. The program facilitates workshops with boys aged 14-18 in high schools across the country.

The program tries to get teenage boys thinking differently about girls by exploring the social construct of male power and male domination. It teaches that just as masculinity does not equate to big muscles and toughness, being a woman doesn't equate to weakness and vulnerability.

PRAY ABOUT IT

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind—yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish." - Ephesians 5:25-27 NRSV

Lord, fill young people with your vision for loving, healthy relationships based on service and kindness. Give young people strong role models to help develop character. Help churches and youth groups offer real support and community to young people. Please grant wisdom to policy makers and educators as they deliver respectful relationship programs in schools. And may your love transform and your life-giving Spirit empower emerging generations to challenge stereotyped beliefs, to value one another, and to live holy and loving lives. Amen.

GO DEEPER

• The Line is a national behaviour change campaign for young people
• Are today’s standards for being a ‘real man’ leading to violence against women?
• ‘It’s time we talked’ is a community-based project that helps young people and the wider community understand and address the influence of pornography.

“It's tough anyway because you're walking into someone else's home, which they deem is their kingdom. That's pretty hard and it's always high risk. Every time you go in you think 'anything could happen'."  - Sergeant Larissa Shaw, Logan, QLD

“It takes victims a long time to break away from the abusive cycle. Sometimes we go round to these people two, three, four times. We find that by the time we get involved, the offender has got absolute control over the victim.” - Senior Constable Brian Johnson, Mt Druitt, Sydney


Australian police handle one domestic violence matter every two minutes, an average of 657 cases of domestic violence every day[1].

Crucial services are still unable to meet current demands. Last year, 1800 RESPECT - the national crisis telephone line for sexual assault, domestic and family violence – was not able to respond to one-quarter of enquiries made to that service when someone called for help[2].

 

PRAY ABOUT IT

Rise up, O Lord; O God, lift up your hand; do not forget the oppressed…. you do see! Indeed you note trouble and grief, that you may take it into your hands; the helpless commit themselves to you; you have been the helper of the orphan … Lord, you will hear the desire of the meek; you will strengthen their heart, you will incline your ear, to do justice for the orphan and the oppressed, so that those from earth may strike terror no more. Psalm 10:12,14,17-18 NRSV


God, thank you that you do not forget those who are oppressed or terrified, that are in trouble or grief. Please draw near to those in trouble today.

Thank you for police and frontline responders who play such an immediate and significant role at times of crisis. Equip them with compassion and grace - they are your hands and feet in helping those in need.

Please pour out your boundless resources that the funding and services that are so desperately needed are made available in our nation. Amen.

 

GO DEEPER

• A close look at how police handle domestic violence situations
• Some first-hand accounts from frontline responders

[1] http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-05-29/domestic-violence-data/6503734
[2] https://theconversation.com/budget-brief-where-is-the-new-help-for-domestic-violence-41428

Domestic violence is one of the biggest causes of homelessness for women and their children and refuges continue to have an essential place in the response to domestic violence. While nothing keeps every woman safe, research consistently identifies two things as making women safer – going to a refuge and contacting a specialist domestic violence service.

Many shelters provide a range of essential supports for people fleeing violence. However, demand for shelters outstrips supply. More than half of all women who seek refuge are unable to be accommodated. Many feel that they have no choice but to return to abusive situations.

Domestic Violence Victoria sums up the systemic issue around funding: “Family violence services, and indeed the system broadly, are funded as though family violence is an individual, incidental and temporary problem – a marginal and private issue – rather than the complex, long-term and widespread social problem it is.”

“Funding is insecure, short-term, cyclical and subject to the vagaries of changing governments and policy agendas." [1]

PRAY ABOUT IT

Jesus, as we pray for those women and children who face homelessness because of violence, we remember that you too were homeless. You know what it is like to be without security, and to be hunted.  You know and you understand.

Together, we pray for shelter, stability and security for women and children facing homelessness. We pray that shelters would be well-resourced, and that they would never have to turn anyone away.

Activate our whole community to call for full funding for refuges, housing, counselling, legal and other essential support services. And give our nation’s leaders the will to respond. Amen.

GO DEEPER

• To end the family violence crisis we need full funding of family violence services. Write a letter to key government Ministers as they develop the next federal budget.
• An interesting article on the history of women’s shelters in Australia
• Is there a women’s shelter in your town or city? Google ‘women’s shelter’ and your postcode to learn more about local refuge services. Could you and your church community put together care packages for women who have sought refuge with these services?

 [1] http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2015/jul/13/the-family-violence-royal-commission-must-tackle-these-four-issues-to-suc

Tomorrow, we’ll hear about and celebrate the great things that are happening within churches in response to domestic and family violence, but today we acknowledge that the church has not handled the issue of domestic and family violence well.  

‘So let's be clear for any Christians who missed the memo. The Bible says any abuse or aggression from one spouse to another, whether physical or verbal, is wrong... Jesus said the leadership his followers exercise is about serving others. Never, ever lording it over others. So don't be defensive. We can learn from others as we join in shining a light on domestic abuse.’
– Sandy Grant (Senior Minister, St Michael's Anglican Cathedral in Wollongong)

"But that our churches are not as bad as others is no excuse … in fact, it’s an opportunity for the church to lead the way; to say it loud and say it often: the church won’t tolerate abuse, and women and children should never submit to violent men. Never ever."
– Shane Clifton (Dean of Theology, Alphacrucis College)

Mark Conner, Senior Minister, CityLife Church in Melbourne, details what he says are the six failings of the church[1]:

1. We have not done a good job of helping to prevent domestic violence, of confronting it when it does occur, nor of helping those involved - both the perpetrator and victim.
2. There has been too much ignorance about the prevalence of domestic violence. Many church leaders have failed to believe that it can happen, even in Christian homes.
3. There has been much erroneous teaching about ‘submission’, ‘authority’, and ‘obedience’ in the home. This has led to a culture of silence and acceptance.
4. Preachers have not taught on this subject nor referred to it enough in their messages.
5. Pastors and church leaders have not been equipped to address this matter nor have they equipped their congregation members with proper responses should domestic violence occur.
6. Pastors have often emphasised forgiveness and repentance at the expense of a person’s welfare and safety.

Across Australian faith communities, there is now a growing awareness of the reality of violence that even occurs within our own churches. We want to see more churches committed to doing a better job at helping to prevent domestic violence, confronting it when it does occur, and offering help to those involved – both the victim and the perpetrator.

PRAY ABOUT IT

ALMIGHTY and most merciful Father; We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep. We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts. We have offended against thy holy laws. We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done; And there is no health in us. But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders. Spare thou them, O God, which confess their faults. Restore thou them that are penitent; According to thy promises declared unto mankind in Christ Jesus our Lord. And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake; That we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, To the glory of thy holy Name. Amen.
- 1662 Book of Common Prayer


Father, please give us grace and insight to face uncomfortable truths about how the gospel has been misused and our church communities have been complicit in the abuse of women and children. Please help us not to downplay or deny our involvement, but help us to see our own individual and collective responsibilities.

For the times where we have sheltered and supported abusers in place of the abused, we are sorry, and we repent.

For the times where we have spoken, counselled or taught thoughtlessly or insensitively, or wrongly, we are sorry.

For the hurt that we have caused or perpetuated or excused, we are sorry.

We thank you that you are merciful and you take our wrongs so seriously that Jesus died for them. We ask that you would enable true and full repentance within us and our churches that healing and transformation would abound.

Amen.

GO DEEPER

• ‘Worship to end Domestic Violence’ - a short liturgy created by the World Council of Churches, a great resource for personal devotion, bible studies or church services.
• The stories of Survivors within the church
• A clever campaign idea to increase awareness of domestic violence in your faith community

[1] http://markconner.typepad.com/catch_the_wind/2015/06/responding-to-family-violence.html