When it comes to living well, it is often easier to present our best self to the world around us – while our loved ones suffer with our iniquities. Jesus calls us to clean the inside of the cup first though (Matt 23:26) and allowing our good living to come from within; rather than putting on a good mask of a life and hoping no one ever truly looks inside.

Why men abuse women

Identifying a male perpetrator of DFV is not as simple as fitting a particular profile. They come in all shapes and sizes: clean cut family men, manipulators, drug addicts, sports heroes – just to name a few. The elements they all share in common, according to Men’s Behaviour Change counsellors, is that all of these men share a lust for power and control.

Some men don’t even know they’re abusers. While most men understand that hitting their partner is wrong, they are oblivious to the broad, legal definition of domestic violence: verbal, emotional, psychological and financial.

It might just be a put down here and there. It might just be a raised voice from time to time. It might just escalate into a raised fist, a raised blade and a bloody mess if it isn’t recognized and dealt with. 

If you think you have a problem with anger, control and abuse, turn your desire for power and control on yourself – not your loved ones – and get the help you need from the following:

  • Men’s Referral Service 
  • Baptist Care
  • Lifeworks
  • Experts to add to this

If you think you, or someone you know, might be in an abusive relationship, it’s time to take charge and get help. Don’t sweep it under the rug. Help is available. Call 1800Respect to find out more or go online to 1800respect.org.au

Do you need support?

The following Domestic and Family Violence support services are available: