Recently, I was speaking with students about what makes public space safe or unsafe. One student suggested that for somewhere to be safe, white men needed to have at least the same amount of self-awareness as any woman or person of colour. When they’re on the train at night, and it is just them and one teenage girl in the carriage, they should ask themselves ‘how might this situation feel for her? What can I do to make this moment safe?’ because that’s what women and people of colour have to do all the time.
This student’s insight can help us think about how we can do church, and church leadership, in healthy, non-coercive and safe ways. First though, I want to outline four key points that draw together spiritual harm, gendered violence and leadership.
1. Spiritual harm – broadly, coercive control and abuse in religious settings – is often a form of gendered harm. Churches can be places where there is spiritual harm and gendered violence.
2: We know that gendered inequality and gendered stereotypes contribute to instances of gendered violence. In the church, it can feel uncomfortable to speak of ‘inequality’, yet if more opportunities to lead or preach go to men than anyone else, this is gendered inequality.
3: We know that across denominations women continue to be ‘underrepresented’ in senior leadership. Gendered inequality is baked into leadership structures. It is tempting to think that if more women led churches, then churches would be safer.
4. However, women leaders don’t magically make places safer or less sexist. Ordained Anglican women (in Australia and the UK) experience sexism: their ministry is questioned because they are women. As Sharon Jagger notes, the election of Bishop Sarah Mullally as the next Archbishop of Canterbury, while a ‘welcome show of resistance’ to the sexism faced by women clergy, ‘is by no means a panacea for the sexism and misogyny built into the church’s structure’
So, what can we do?
Like a white man on the train at night, individual Christians, particularly leaders, can work towards building safer cultures by being self-aware. In Escaping the Maze of Spiritual Abuse, Justin Humphreys’ suggests that it is through ‘daring to be self-reflective and honest with ourselves’ that leaders ‘have a better chance of remaining genuine, humble and astute.’ Healthy leadership includes a willingness to examine your leadership style, strengths, and limitations. It includes a willingness to examine how the situation may be experienced by those you lead.
A healthy church community is willing to examine the gendered shape of leadership structures. Not because any individual woman (not even an Archbishop) can ‘fix’ the church, but because when the overwhelming pattern of church leadership is masculine, we tell ourselves that only men can be leaders. In doing so we replicate a gendered stereotype (that men are ‘naturally’ suited to leadership) that can contribute to the very forms of harm we want to end.
Some of us are very familiar with having to be self-aware in public. Some of us know our safety is not guaranteed. If you rarely have to think about your own safety, or if you lead others and are in a position of influence, a willingness to intentionally practice self-awareness is one thing you can do to make church safer.
Over the last few years, Erin Hutton and I have been thinking and writing about the ‘bleeding woman’ in the Gospel (Matthew 9, Mark 5, Luke 8). Public space was probably unsafe for her. In contemporary terms, as she approached Jesus she ‘manufactured safety’ by trying to make herself anonymous and invisible in the crowd, and by proactively seeking healing. Take time to reflect on how you can make your church safe for those who have learned that their safety is contingent on being invisible in the crowd, as well as those who come to your church carrying past (and ongoing) experiences of harm. What is church like for them? How can you make the situation safe?
Are you willing to examine the ways in which your own beliefs or actions may have (even inadvertently or unintentionally) made a situation less safe for someone else?
If you are a teacher, or in a position of leadership, how will you practice self-awareness? Are you willing to learn from your students?
Book: Lisa Oakley and Justin Humphreys (2019), Escaping The Maze of Spiritual Abuse.
Tim Hein (2018), Understanding Sexual Abuse.
Report: Joel Hollier (2024), The Shape of Religious Harm.
Dr Rosie Clare Shorter is a feminist researcher living and working in Naarm (Melbourne). She teaches gender studies at the University of Melbourne. She is also a Research Fellow at Deakin University, where she is part of a team researching spirituality. She has previously taught sociology of religion at Deakin University. She is a thematic group (religion) co-convenor for The Australian Sociological Association, and a member of the Australian Women’s and Gender Studies Association executive committee.
Healthy Relationships is Common Grace's daily blog series during 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, 25 November to 10 December 2025. Encourage your friends, family and faith community to sign up here.
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