Day 9: Falling Through the Cracks

Falling Through the Cracks

A survivor-advocates’ story of healing

KRISTINE VICCA

I am a survivor of domestic and sexual violence, financial, emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse and everything that comes from that.  The best way I can describe what happened to me, was like, my whole being, my whole life, whatever it was that made me who I am - was destroyed - like it all went to dust and was no more. Never to be the same again.

Trying to get that back for me was like picking up a handful of sand - you always see it- and feel it and know that it’s never able to be fully kept together in your hand. Because when you pick up sand- you always see grains falling through the cracks or missing into places. Like I’d finally get a grasp of the sand, but then other areas are falling over and over and over – and it's a horrible feeling. Despair, grieving, loss, pain, loneliness and in my most vulnerable state I wanted the human kindness of Christians in a building. Instead, I saw some humans who avoided me like the plague, rejected me like a disease and disposed of me like waste, disregarding my feelings till I felt invisible.

All I had was God, forgiveness, faith, prayers, God’s Word and a handful of amazing people in different community-based services who were mostly not of any religious faith. They were generous, kind, considerate and they allowed me to share my faith and strengths and my weaknesses, and they gave me love, warmth and understanding with opportunities to succeed. Praise God that this was all I had, because God has a plan and purpose for my life, and He has prepared the best way.

God’s best way happened when I was walking in a car park and introduced to the ‘Broken to Brilliant’ charity founders and these amazing ladies took me under their wings in my fragile state and supported me through their programs. These programs included Domestic Violence Art, Animal and art therapies with Llamas and ponies, Financial Superwomen, Rise to rebuild, Blogging and Writing.

They were my safety; in my most vulnerable times, they showed me genuine care and they became my trusted friends. I became an author in one of the ‘Broken to Brilliant’ books which are written by survivors to be given to every domestic violence refuge bed in Australia for women fleeing from domestic violence in Australia, to give hope. I was able to be a part of giving boxes of these books to the domestic violence refuge that I had been placed in years earlier. The full circle of this happening has been a big highlight of God’s hand in something so special. God heard my prayers, and He saw my every tear and even though I did not see that clearly at times, I know it now. I know it because my life has been restored and my heart has been healed. I’ve been given knowledge to start a new career, I have amazing friends, colleagues and support. I am employed in a role where I can support other women by being that stranger that I once needed. In that paid role I pray and quote scripture, share resilience, strength, hope and God’s love. I am serving God, Christ lives in me, I am the church, I am the building, and I am me- exactly the way God meant it to be.

Go Deeper

Explore resources that helped Kristine:

• Broken to Brilliant website
• ‘Broken to Brilliant’ book

Pray

Dear God, 

Thank you for the women who have shared their stories, so that we all might come to a closer understanding of what the darkness that lies, so often behind closed doors. 

We thank you God that You never intend violence or harm for any of us.  But through us we can be working to see transformation and wholeness come into even the darkest situations. 

Through Your transformative grace our darkest experiences can be used to bring about light and goodness. 

Thank you that there are organisations, services, pathways and people who are dedicated to helping women who have suffered domestic violence and coercive control. Amen. 

Kristine Vicca is proud to be of Irish and Torres Strait Island descent.  She is an Author, Speaker and is a Director of 'Broken to Brilliant' charity. Kristine works for 'Women's Health and Equality Qld' and facilitates 'The Healing Journey' through 'Strong Women Talking'. Kristine advocates on Domestic Violence, Sexual Violence, Child Safety, and other vulnerable areas to bring positive change.

Common Grace seeks to amplify the stories of people who have experienced injustice and acknowledges that survivors of Domestic and Family Violence are brave and resilient. By generously sharing their stories with us and advocating for change they are helping to make this world safer for women and children. As we listen deeply to their stories of experiencing coercive control, may we honour their contribution and commit to pursuing a world where our homes, churches and communities treat all people with dignity, respect, equality, and love. 

About the Series

Confronting Coercive Control is Common Grace's daily blog series during 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, 25 November to 10 December 2024.
Encourage your friends, family and faith community to sign up here.
Promote these series in your church or faith community with PowerPoint slides and social media assets.

The following Domestic and Family Violence support services are available:

• 1800 RESPECT National Helpline: 1800 737 732
• Women’s Crisis Line: 1800 811 811
• Men’s Referral Service: 1300 766 491
• Lifeline (24 hour crisis line): 131 114
• 13 YARN (Aboriginal Mob): 13 92 76
• Emergency: 000